When Religious People Desire Alcohol (Goscolene)

When Religious People Need Alcohol (Goscolene)
An Unconscious glass of brandy.

Goscolene makes us lapotidunious. Some guys I used to roll with, when saying something cryptic in public, would conclude “If you know, you know.” Anyone can listen to certain public utterances, but few may decipher them. The good thing is nothing you read here qualifies as cryptic. Yet, we need not define or explain what lapotidunious means for now. This word wears the coat of mufugbeneity, another adjective which elsewhere is yet without definition, but we will define it. That is what we do. Just a little trust is all we need to assure each other when the means of persuasion are shy. Shyness. Goscolene refuses to be shy. How can the most popular alcoholic drink in the Niger Delta be shy? If oil, the reason for Nigeria’s neo-colonisation, and palm oil the incentive for Nigeria’s colonisation, both products of the Niger Delta, are not shy, why will goscolene be shy?

My late brother once said his friend, a young Sapele guy with an ultra-charismatic personality back in the 1970s, named John Efevwiare, had more nicknames than either marijuana or palm gin. It was a hyperbole. The name of choice used here for palm gin is goscolene. Kaikai, ogogoro, skian, skilo, akpeteshi, shine eye, agbain, push me I push you, akpavin, and turn, are older synonyms and probably outdated. Goscolene is the product of distilling the drink, a spirit, from aged palm wine. Palm gin or local gin are misnomers. To produce brandy, one must distil it from wine. Thus, goscolene is a colourless brandy, for palm wine (fermenting palm sap) is a legitimate wine. It is also an Eau de Vie (water of life).

Goscolene does many works in the mind and body and often reflects the soul, the inner self. The faithful will confirm, even the Bible, if you check your scriptures with sincerity, it counsels, “No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for the stomach’s sake and thine frequent infirmities” (1 Timothy 5:23). This is the word of God, Deo Gratia. If, otherwise, we reflect on the words of wise men, the English philosopher Bertrand Russell in his, The Conquest of Happiness tome writes, “Me no drinkee for drinkee, me drinkee for drunkee,” the sincere words of a Chinaman. Goscolene is an agent of sincerity. That the soul responds in unique ways to goscolene is not only thorough in its sincerity, it is also incredible in fairness. As you sow in your gut, so shall you reap.

Salvation is the gift, practice, or phenomenon of self-discovery, the discovery of the soul within. Those who possess undiscovered souls will never comprehend salvation. Hence, the universal counsel, “Know Thy Self.” It is the best thing you can do. Many claim one can find God behind the darkness of closed eyes. It takes a lot more than that. And do not ask us if we are self-discovered.

To open the Soul, that is what lapotidunity means, lapotidunious is the adjective. The mild altered state of mind brought on by ingesting goscolene is an effective medium for connecting with the soul inside. This is undeniable. However, too many people believe drinking much more will bring the soul within much closer. Such an expectation is erroneous. The addition of salt to a dish can make it tastier and improve one’s appetite. Putting a handful of salt in the same dish would banish hunger. Only a little goscolene is necessary for spiritual purposes. Use only a little.

Goscolene is an often-misunderstood agent of self-discovery. After words of wisdom, knowledge, pain, and loss, the unique family of which goscolene is a member, the Highers, provides the most profound responses to the soul. When Jesus turned water into wine, it was for salvation, our salvation. Why refuse Holy Communion? There is great blessing and salvation in it. Beer and pepper soup, palm wine and bush meat, root and bitter kola, Guinness and Isi-Ewu, Fanta and malted biscuits, or goscolene and pepper fruit, are all communions and also lapotidunious. These communions lessen the shyness of the soul to the bearer, if only we knew. Be fair to thine spirit, and to do so one must acknowledge, if not embrace, it when it is forthcoming.

Jalaluddin Rumi (1207-1273) Sufi poet and giant of Islamic scholarship wrote a quote in his monumental, Mathnawi. “You only need smell the wine, For vision to flame from each void, Such flames from wine’s aroma! Imagine if you were the wine.” Verily, we declare, we imagine we are wine or goscolene daily. Sniff a little for thy soul’s sake and your soul will be forthcoming from the void. That’s what Rumi said. Which is also lapotidunious. Wherever entrepreneurs distil goscolene, the aroma of first turn, the initial distillate, is ever-liberating. If salvation is not liberation, what is it?

Goscolenia, addiction to goscolene, results from a mind-to-soul-via-body error. Such an error carries a heavy cost, if one is unlucky. Many people have met with ruin, injury, or death because of their fusing engagements with goscolene. In a world seeking “consciousness” to cope in a post truth, post-democratic, neoliberal world, sources of unconsciousness are questionable. Some thus ask, is lapotidunity a paradox? Even an inanimate glass of brandy (see image above) can function with perfection but still be unconscious. To many people, goscolenia counts as sin, not the soul-searching use of a little goscolene. It is goscolenia that breeds unconsciousness, dims sharp wits, and disconnects people from their souls by making them exceed the mark in wrong directions by miles. If God made goscolene and for lapotidunity, can it be sin? Onite!

We have seen goscolenia perform many atypical miracles in the actions of people. The fearful become exceptional heroes and the invincible take a beating from minor unevenness on the ground. Tight keepers of secrets become major news agencies and faithful people then sleep with anyone, yes anyone. Best friends fight to the death over nothing and some sleep with comfort anywhere they sit or fall, outdoors. Many burn their salaries only to suffer much till the next payday and ugly people appear so beautiful. In summary, goscolenia makes impossible things possible.

Goscolenia is anti-lapotidunious; avoid or abstain from it if you can. Do not lose your soul to find it. But the little that is necessary for self-discovery, never be shy to drink it. Embracing the soul is never easy. Therefore, we must learn lapotidunity with care and discipline, no quick fixes.

Be good, not lucky

 

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