Yankius: Nigerian Justice 2024

Yankius: Nigerian Justice 2024

Yankius: Ultra Vires! The Virus himself. Have you come to infect me with this your surprise visit.

Ultra Vires: Yancoccos. Why are you looking so dull? What are you thinking about?

Yankius: Physical violence. My Brother welcome. How are you?

Ultra Vires: We know you are a troublemaker but you have never been violent to the best of my knowledge.

Yankius: In a country where the criminal justice system is on sale for cheap violence should be any man’s game.

Ultra Vires: Do you have the money to buy a judge?

Yankius:  I don’t need money to buy a judge. I will send Ungun Known Man to do a Luca Brasi job on any justice I choose.

Ultra Vires: Judges in Nigeria all have special body guards and have embalmed themselves.

Yankius: Embalmed themselves?

Ultra Vires: When a Warri guy says embalm, it means to protect oneself well with juju powers.

Yankius: Do you know how many soldiers, police officers, robbers and politicians have died because they believed in their embalmment? It is only when their dying that they realised their native doctor conned them.

Ultra Vires: No one can verify that.

Yankius: That is the reason I want to test violence on no other persons than judges and the big lawyers they fear.

Ultra Vires: But you are not a lawyer why does the matter concern you so much.

Yankius: Do I need to be. If Nigerians cannot test justice in the courts because of corrupt judges then boys must test the justice of bullets on them. Not just any bullet, the one called the Judas.

Ultra Vires: This does not sound right. The system needs reform not bullets. No one wants the law of the jungle in our country.

Yankius: When Nnamdi Kanu said Nigeria is a zoo he was being kind. The country is a jungle and jungle justice prevail. Abi?

Ultra Vires: You sound colonial.

Yankius: Yes, auto-colonial.

Ultra Vires: What is that?

Yankius: When an elite colonise their own people and treat them worse than a foreign power would.

Ultra Vires: Are you saying Afe Babalola and Lawal Pedro are auto-colonialists.

Yankius: I don’t know about that O! All I know is those men have enough power to overrule courts if they so choose. In fact, lawyers are the most powerful people in the country.

Ultra Vires: That’s not true. The country has politicians.

Yankius: Wrong. Nigeria has political market masters not politicians. And what is a big market master without lawyers.

Ultra Vires: Rubbish!

Yankius: Have you forgotten that a judge in Nigeria decided that a man who came fourth in a governorship election won it. When it is election time, come and see judges sleeping in churches and mosques praying to God to chair election dispute cases. Those prayers are full of tears.

Ultra Vires: How do you know they weep while praying. Were you there?

Yankius: We are talking about career changing bribes from governorship candidates.

Ultra Vires: Judges are not so naïve to think they can dupe God?

Yankius: Duping God is a national sport in Nigeria.

Ultra Vires: It’s not my sport.

Yankius: Do you remember how you cried in Celestial Church – Warri for a whole week when Kike dumped you. How long will you cry for good money?

Ultra Vires: Its only things lie that you remember.

Yankius: Look here! Don’t infect me with guilt we can start the violence here.

That’s Nigerian Justice in 2024 – Yankius.

All Guys Dey