When I hear the counsel “Accept your loss and move on,” it is often delivered with an unkind or compassionate intention. Said with unkindness, it reminds me of the ignorance or outright folly of the counsellor. Losses, I am certain, are measured in terms of the degree of necessities they create for the recipient. Incidences of hunger, sadness, confusion, pain, destitution, estrangement, loneliness, and bereavement are one side of loss I have witnessed many times. People do exaggerate their losses for various reasons. The other side of loss, as I have seen it, is experienced as freedom, unexpected new opportunities, wisdom, better choices, and more personal space. The man who benefitted from his loss may not share it with those he no longer trusts. The overcoming of loss is sometimes more contrary and less visible than observers may expect.
