My Tsunami

1.   Intro

My Tsunami is a tale of blissful experiences of being with a Tsunami, a term for a focused, decent, disciplined, and well-groomed lady. The inexperienced in love and its necessities is something discerning men avoid. If you want to enjoy life, choose your girlfriend, or wife well. Think! One man’s blessing is another man’s curse though. To those who did the thinking. Enjoy!

To understand who a female Tsunami is one must look at the origin of the term. A certain fraternity has a distinct nomenclature of terms that unless unusual politics is in play, tells the duration of membership since initiation. It is also a system of ranks. The use of that nomenclature to describe the temporary or permanent heterosexual partners of members is mere and witty extrapolation. The terms reflect humour than any other intent.

An agriculture is an underage female. One may amaze themselves how popular Agriculture babes are with a sizeable number of the guys but not those who reside in nations with enforceable laws.

A deckhand is a female between 17 and 19 years old.

A Brine Coat female is between 20 and 24 years old.

An Ash Coat female is between 25 and 29 years old. Many members choose their first wives from this grouping.

A Weather Beaten is a female between 30 and 39 years old. The number of members marrying the first time from this grouping is growing fast. Economics, I guess.

A Typhoon Blasted (TBS) female is between 40 and 49 years of age. This is a very sizeable go to segment of babes among the guys.

A Tsunami female is between 50 and 59 years old.

A Cosmos female is 60 years of age and over.

Finally, a Tortugan is a female over 60 years of age with staggering national or international acclaim or prominence for an outstanding career. Nelson Mandela’s wife, the widow of Samora Machel is a Tortugan. If Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala or Naja’atu Bala Mohammed were to remarry or date afresh, they would be Tortugans.

Notwithstanding, guys consider a member blessed or empowered according to the age range of woman he dates, even if he is in wedlock. Thus, he becomes Tsunami-blessed, Deckhand-empowered, or Agriculture-sparkled according to the chronology of the babe. Cf. Genesis 2:18.

One time during a member’s jamboree in the USA, an ever oversexed and most wincheous member introduced an expedient innovation to the guys, group-rate. This is an economic efficiency practice since it reduces the transaction cost of the service. Rather than a member paying at least $40 for one shot with a hooker, he pays $25. How? A group of six members pool $25 each to a single hooker sometimes after long negotiations in the early hours of the morning. Once they agree on price, the guys then form a queue. The guys who specialise in this practice are fondly known as Group Raters.

Out of the group rate experience comes a factual event. Seven guys were in an hour-long negotiation and offering cutthroat prices to risky babes, one Cosmos and three Tsunamis. Then a TBS arrives. Not only do the members abandon their interest in the four initial women for the younger TBS babe they offer her a higher fee and began downing Alomo Bitters or its substitutes. At times, a little reinforcement can make the episode worthwhile. Such an event is worthy of an academic journal article or a well-funded study.

As a single man, many friends, most of them members seem to as a reflex conversation ask why I am single and sexless. My natural response to them is to ask if they have a woman for me. Those in diaspora would end that line of questioning there and then or offer weak suggestions. Otherwise, those in Nigeria would tell me they have hordes of women lined up for me only if I come back home. They become so eager to offer me babes they ask for my spec in babes. The spec I give then is a Tsunami or TBS babe with a good education and financially independent, kids no problem. A long tense sigh follows without fail.

The guys know that so many hungry and ambitious Deckhand, Brine Coat, Ash Coat and Weather-Beaten babes, not the mature minded ones.  would jump at the prospect of sex or marriage with a guy from overseas. However, comfortable educated and pretty women in their 40s or 50s and single are not only out of their reach but imagination.

It’s not as if the single TBS and Tsunamis I prefer do not exist or are not available. I have one. They are not easy to manipulate or dazzle. In the western world, some say men consider them “invisible.” But that is a very incomplete assertion. The niche for TBS and Tsunami babes is growing, more so in a world of increasing life expectancies.

Be good, not lucky.


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