The ASUU Strike and the Crapious Revolution 3

The ASUU Strike and the Crapious Revolution 3

The Unexpected

Often your most visible adversary is the least dangerous.”

The Nigerian youth as an unintended consequence, see the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) Strike 2022 as the Government of Nigeria (GON) spitting and shitting all over them with contempt. When the ASUU goes on strike, academic and non-academic staff feel the pain, but the youth and students feel it much more in the present climate of “nothing nothing” to look forward to. “Nothing Nothing” – no money, nourishment, jobs, accommodation, fulfill-able aspirations respectability, or hope. The youth sense it as repression and oppression. The GON were not expecting such a development, it came as a surprise. (more…)

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The ASUU Strike and the Crapious Revolution 2

The ASUU Strike and the Crapious Revolution 2

The Provocation

The Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) and their colleagues Non-Academic Staff Union (NASU) are not accepting globalisation straitjackets that leave them so worse off they become redundant to academia, to society and to themselves. You cannot do that to the most intelligent professionals in the country and get away with it. Well, you can try.

Nevertheless, the unwitting provocateur of the coming crapious revolution is the Government of Nigeria (GON) itself. Since the 1980s, the GON have found ever new ways to undermine working people by gradually decreasing their pay and benefits or even sacking them en masse. The private sector does the same, even rich oil companies. We know it as globalisation. (more…)

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The ASUU Strike and the Crapious Revolution 1

The ASUU Strike and the Crapious Revolution 1

The What?

“Revolution is believed in only after it has been accomplished.” – Book of Changes, Hexagram 49

Strikes by the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) in Nigeria is a regular occurrence. Since 1999, ASUU has been on strike for a total of 63 months (or 5 years). So, Nigerians take or overlook it as one of those things; “It will end in a few months,” they say. Not this time. The five-month-old ASUU Strike 2022 is  shaping up as a shock-disaster for the Government of Nigeria (GON). The support of the strike by the Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC) is not good news for the GON. The conditions for the never imagined crapious revolution have arrived in Nigeria for some time and the ASUU Strike is the probable flash point. (more…)

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Papiration And Bad Nigerian Politicians

Papiration and Bad Nigerian Politicians

Papire is a practice several politicians and their clients in Nigeria embrace to achieve and hold on to power for as long as possible, even to the grave. These indulgers of papire are the Owners of Nigeria who presume the country’s wealth is their entitlement. Papire takes full control of the minds of its indulgers. Under the influence of papire, the powerful in the land dominates every aspect of Nigerian life and ruin it. What nasty politicians! Furthermore, we must know papiration abhors thoughts of consequences or responsibility. It only reinforces wanton indulgence. (more…)

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Yankius: Papiration & Bad Politicians

Yankius: Papiration & Bad Politicians; more guys gossip…

The Man, Yankius on Papire and 2023 Elections’ Presidential Contenders

Yankius: O Saint Bobo! May papire be blessed! Papire come make you forget me for decades, eh? How in the world have you been?

Saint Bobo: You no dey forget something? Is papire all you remember about me?

Yankius: No. Sexual activity, professional gisting and Guinness small stout.

Saint Bobo: Whatever! Meanwhile, it’s great to see you.

Yankius: What brings you back to Nigeria?

Saint Bobo: Okowa, our governor, invited me to come to work with him for the 2023 elections. (more…)

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Yet Another Birthday With Cap’n Blood

Yet Another Birthday With Cap’n Blood

A rugged tale of yet another surprise yet memorable birthday with Cap’n Bloood in Davy Jones Locker. He comes bearing rum.

Wednesday 13th of July, 2022, in a cold secluded place sailors dread…

I am deep in thought and all my sensory capabilities are dormant. Never lost in thought; I often find my complete self in thought. If someone can sail the rough seas from brook to ocean without finding themselves complete in thought and the action it begets, then he is a lubber. Nothing more. My thoughts always gear towards the fostering of the better society but it is a lonely vocation despite the thousands who swear to seek it. Davy Jones Locker (DJL) is the best place ever to find oneself in thought and there I sat without being wopicious.

My sensory faculties reactivate by the touch of a hand. It is a surprise, a moderate grip of my shoulder. In a couple of seconds, I return myself to the corporeal present moment, then turn my head to see who it is surprising me. It is Cap’n Blood (CB) himself. I fall into a daze with amazement for a moment. Then remembered it is his birthday, thirteen days before mine. (more…)

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When Religious People Need Alcohol (Goscolene)
An Unconscious glass of brandy.

Religious Desire of Alcohol (Goscolene)

Religious Desire of Alcohol (Goscolene)

Goscolene makes us lapotidunious. Some guys I used to roll with, when saying something cryptic in public, would conclude “If you know, you know.” Anyone can listen to certain public utterances, but few may decipher them. The good thing is nothing you read here qualifies as cryptic. Yet, we need not define or explain what lapotidunious means for now. This word wears the coat of mufugbeneity, another adjective which elsewhere is yet without definition, but we will define it. That is what we do. Just a little trust is all we need to assure each other when the means of persuasion are shy.

Shynes! Goscolene refuses to be shy, especially when there is a religious desire for it. How can the most popular alcoholic drink in the Niger Delta be shy? If oil, the reason for Nigeria’s neo-colonisation, and palm oil the incentive for Nigeria’s colonisation, both products of the Niger Delta, are not shy, why will goscolene be shy? (more…)

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