Yankius on Arsenal F.C. and the Fainting Thief
Riverine Remedy: Yankius, you self, you cannot even ask after me if I don’t call you. Na so your friendship be?
Yankius: O mi Riverine Remedy, have you not heard of 5G and its cover-up story? If not for that, to call you from time to is not hard now.
Riverine Remedy: (Laughing loud and cynically) So, you still believe in that 5G – COVID-19 junk? You are more than that and you know it.
Yankius: If you do not agree with my beliefs it does not give you the privilege to insult me.
Riverine Remedy: Yankius, have you heard the Acting Managing Director of NIger Delta Development Commission fainted while being interrogated for grand corruption by Representatives in the National Assembly? Nigeria’s Big Thieves are growing in numbers geometrically.
Yankius: Please, this case is different. The story you have heard is incomplete.
Riverine Remedy: How do you mean?
Yankius: On Saturday, this past weekend, the Acting MD forgot to take his heart cum high blood pressure medications before the FA Cup semi-final match only to see Arsenal beat his favourite team Manchester City 2 – kondo. Moreover, he collapsed after the game ended in his friend’s house.
Riverine Remedy: Yankius the Baptist! Go and sit down! How do you know all this?
Yankius: The Acting MD’s friend was my roommate at university and we remain close friends to this day. Meanwhile, he told me about the incident in detail.
Riverine Remedy: So, you are serious?
Yankius: Have I ever lied to you before?
Riverine Remedy: No.
Yankius: He should have had a full medical examination before attending the hearing in the National Assembly today. The man is not healthy.
Riverine Remedy: If you say so. Do you think the Acting MD of Niger Delta Development Commission will sue Arsenal F.C. for causing him to collapse in his friend’s place and the National Assembly? It has caused him much embarrassment. They may have to sell a top player if he wins the case. What do you think?
Yankius: Have you ever heard that I am a lawyer anywhere? Please go and ask a QC or SAN that kind of question.
Riverine Remedy: I knew it! I knew it! You are a closet Arsenal fan. Be a man and admit it.
Yankius: Don’t you use IQ on me!!! I am a Nottingham Forest fan. This lie you have laid against me is so painful and unfair. Is this how you treat your friends, with false accusations? Btw, Arsenal did not force anyone to watch them.
Riverine Remedy: But football clubs are making people sick people worse. Hence, they can be sued.
Yankius: (Keeping silent in anger).
Riverine Remedy: Yankius the Baptist, I present you with a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black label because you are a great friend and I have missed you (handing over the bottle to Yankius).
Yankius: (Opening the bottle of whisky and pouring a libation) Let us pray. “May the Ancestors always make the sea route to my house available to Wise men like Riverine Remedy…”
All Guys Dey
