Yankius on If Julian Assange Where Arrested in Nigeria

Dead Speechless: Yankpuzi! How you is? I thought the British were the most civilised people in the world but see how nefariously they treated Julian Assange. Denial of medical treatment, drag-along arrest in the street and a vindictive jail sentence. It was more than barbarous.

Yankius: Lets not talk about Julian Assange. I do not feel like hiding in an embassy at the moment.

Dead Speechless: You are not Julain Assange and you do not run Wikileaks.

Yankius: All the better not to talk about him. Goon!

Dead Speechless: Leave insults out of it. If Julian Assabge were arrested by police in Nigeria and taken to a police station what do you think would have happened to him?

Yankius: The Nigerian police would have flogged hell out of Assange with koboko and put in the boot and punches too, till he cried or begged. Head butts might have also been part of the beating. The British were a lot fairer than Panti or Alagbon would have been.

Dead Speechless: Come on, Nigeria is not that bad. You think…

Yankius: Two-time civilian governor and military officer Diepreye Alamieyeseigha was severely flogged by Nigerian security forces when arrested on corruption charges despite the fact he visibly was very ill. He died not too long after. Meanwhile, Buhari who does not respect the rule of rule one bit was not even in power then. Buhari is now in power. Buhari will have a lot to learn and practice from the Julian Assange ordeal in London. Let’s just wait and see. Even the blue-blooded Emir of Kano has recently taken a tumble for speaking truth to power, jounalists and publishers would not stand a chance in the next few years.

Dead Speechless: O nay sayer! So no human rights in Nigeria? The days of Generals Babangida and Abacha. have long gone. We are now a democracy.

Yankius: You have human rights in Nigeria only if you have a lot of money and can beg very well. And that may not even save you. And do not forget, Nigeria has not had human rights since independence especially since 1966 and during colonial rule. Forget what you hear on telly or read in the papers; Nigerians are not too keen on human rights, they have not experienced it and the rights they have is where the governemnt and its clients have no reach – money is enough for them. And who knows if the nation is even ready for truth. Nigeria is torn up by tribal, religious and corporate interests and it is those interests that matter. What impacts have truth-backed exposes and scandals about corruption and misrule have on the government of Nigeria, despite democracy? None. Human rights is the noise of lawyers, the grandstanding of polititians and an intellectaul’s right to a seminar audient. That’s all. Finito.

Dead Speechless: Hmmm. Going back to where we started, what are you afraid of the most for discussing Asssange’s matter? Extradition to the USA and beatings in Nigeria?

Yankius: Both. Extradition would be an international violation and arrest in Nigeria a local violation of my human rights. I doubt if I would survive either. Julian Assange is a truly dogged man. Do you think that you would survive either?

Dead Speechless: This matter is about you not me.

Yankius: (contorting his face with an expression of surprise) Really!!! So you came here to find out what I was thinking, eh. Are your recording my responses to your questions. I have to search you, now!

Dead Speechless: You like to talk anyway, don’t you? Are you not sure you are becoming paranoid?

Yankius: (He seizes Dead Speechless’ phone, a Samsung 10,, which is in recording mode and smashes badly on the floor). Well, I don’t mind being arrested or extradited fro smashing the phone of very wicked and cunning traitor caught in the act. Ha!

All Guys Dey!

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